Jackie Cameron - Coaching and Communication

One of the joys of this time of year for me is that I reconnect with so many people in the annual exchange of Christmas cards. In some cards I get short update messages of what has happened in the past year but in most there is just a cheery “Happy Christmas” and signed names.

But for me it is not about the card - its about the memory of why am I in touch with this person - albeit just once a year

Like many people who celebrate Christmas  the list  includes   family ( of course) . Then there are maybe old  neighbours with whom we shared a day to day life for a period of time.  And parents of children’s friends when they were at school. Add a sprinkling of former colleagues  and people we shared an experience with - studying, attending a conference, holiday etc and throw into the mix those who met in a wide range of one off activities and with whom enduring relationships were formed.The thread through all of these is that no matter how long it is since we last actually met up - if we did it would be easy to pick up where we left off and we would have loads to talk about.

 I think there is a lesson to be learned there for networking generally.

There are many business cards ( remember them ) in my organiser that I am committed to compiling a database with sometime soon and e-mail addresses in my contacts. There are my Facebook friends and Linkedin contacts along with my Twitter followers/followed as well as those who have taken the time to comment on my blog.

Am I in contact with all of those people all of the time?  Of course not.

Can I remember why we first connected? On Facebook, Linkedin and my blog  - yes I can. Looking through those business cards brings back memories too! To be honest  though with Twitter I can’t but I know why I am connected with a large proportion of them now !

Could I e-mail/ pick up the phone to chat about something of potential mutual interest ?  Yes indeed.

Would we support and encourage each other in challenging times  and send congratulations on good news ? Well all of the evidence based on previous experiences suggests so.

And I am looking at my Christmas card list to see if there is anybody on Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter with whom I can connect with throughout the year too. Now that could be fun!

Last night I was at a network event where the speaker was talking about brands - in this case aspirational or “must have” brands. As she was explaining how to buy jewellery at auction ( yes - even in these cash strapped times. Did you know that it can cost one third of retail prices to buy at auction?) and flashed up a slide showing only the top of a pale blue box with a white ribbon tied on top. No words at all…but everyone in that room knew what brand it was. Although it was a women’s event I expect a large number of men would also have recognised it.

An enormous amount of investment has been put into making it so. But was wondering if there was something that each of us could learn from that.

Later on I was in conversation with a couple of friends and we were talking about keeping the business message clear. Each of us are independent consultants and the nature of working that way means that we have diverse portfolios of work. But then Tiffany has jewellery, leather goods, pens, ornaments… . So our brand needs to reflect strongly what the consultant - as a person - has to offer . Tiffany has done major market research to get ( and stay) where it is.  Now there’s a thought.

This does not apply only to consultants though - I believe that having a strong personal brand in the workplace could be hugely beneficial. Think of it in terms of where someone would go if they want a clear thinker, or brilliant can-do attitude, or realistic view of current situations, or ability to pull teams together for great results….

So what does your own “brand” tell others?  It might be worth finding out… and making sure that it is what you want it to be!

I found myself at an event last week ( that makes it sound like I just pitched up..) where a few of those arriving, including me, were not on the guest list. It was being jointly held by 2 organisations and there were guests from each. I seemed to be the only one who was not on my hosting organisation’s list but as requested I went to stand with the others until security clearance could be given. I had not met anyone else in that group before so, to break the ice,  I asked the lady standing next to me if she too had been invited by my host or the other organisation. Firstly she looked me up and down, said “no” ( that was it) and then went on to grumble about how the organisers’ problems seemed to now be ours. She was loud and also , in my view, rude, so I wandered off to speak to someone else.

On another occasion at another networking event I was chatting to 2 ladies about some work I was doing in schools when a lady I had not met before joined us. I brought her in on the conversation by briefly summarising what I had been talking about. She said that in her view schools should focus on the 3 Rs before they allocated time to projects like mine.  I had a choice - to try to win her over or to wander off for some nicer conversation…guess what I opted for.

I do not expect to like - or be liked - by everyone I meet but I do expect some manners. I cannot understand why someone would go to an event to alienate people so I can only assume that neither of these ladies realised that that was what they did.

On a final note on my bus this afternoon a passenger spent much of the journey telling the bus driver what he thought of this country and the government. It wasn’t flattering. Such an approach is often called ”nipping someone’s ear” in these parts.  The poor driver continued driving and offering the odd yes or no - but he was a captive audience and had not option of wandering off to find someone else to spend his time talking too ( besides he needed to focus on driving ).  It might be worth considering whether any conversation you strike up with a stranger is hitting a bum note from the start - then start again!

“What’s for you won’t go by you” is a fine old Scottish saying - if you are meant to have it then you will  - roughly translated.

A while back I was working with a lovely lady who was pulling herself out  from her own personal hell to get back into the world of work. She had applied for a couple of jobs and had not been successful to that point but she came out with that quote.

I was impressed by her new found determination. She was hugely creative and talented. She had a great network of friends and family who were on her side and looking out for her. And she was about to complete the programme I was coaching to get her “work ready” again. So I could not sit back and wait for things to come to her.

You see I really believe that what’s meant for you will indeed pass you by if you don’t have your antennae switched to receive. To ensure that you don’t miss opportunities you must keep a level of awareness of what is going on at all times to jump when the time comes.

Let me give you an example. My lovely Mum - who is in her late 70s- has been going to the same hairdresser for 30 years ( she does my hair too - but mine is more suited to a 50 something!). Mum overheard the hairdresser say to another client that she was looking for speakers for the local business group she is a member of. Mum reported this to me and asked if that was something I could do! I have to say that Mum hears stories from me about the work I do but she really does not have a full grasp of what that entails on a day to day basis so I was mighty impressed that she made the link. I called to offer my services and I am in the diary for a meeting in September! So not only were my antennae up - but so were Mum’s!

If you want to enhance your chances of a good opportunity coming your way you need to talk about what you are looking for - to friends, family, colleagues, on your social networking site. This in turn will give them more chance to make the link or connection  when an opportunity arises.

A small but important addition to this advice is - be sure you are clear about what you are looking for so that they in turn can be clear.

The lady I mentioned  decided at the end of the programme to retrain as a nurse. She said that she had wanted to go into nursing when she was little and was reminded of this when chatting with a friend. Where previously she said she did not have the confidence to go for it now it was the right time for her.  So missing out on the other jobs was actually a good thing. Every cloud….now there’s a topic for another post.

The old saying “It’s not what you know but who you know that matters” applies as much today as it always did. The difference now might be that your network is larger and more geographically spread than it could have been 10 years ago.

So do you know who is in your network?

OK if you go to Bebo or Facebook etc you can see your “friends” at the touch of a button. What about your e-mail mailing list? Or your address book in your phone?  Or your Christmas card list even?

How about the internal mailing list in your organisation. Or your business card holder ( what do you mean you always throw the cards you get away?)

Then there’s your family and friends - and their friends….

And previous employers and colleagues and associates.

How is your picture looking now? If you were to draw your contacts network like a family tree how many branches have you got now?

The reason I ask is that a couple of people have asked me the same question lately.

How can I get a job in the sector/area that I want to work in when I have no experience?

First suggestion - ask someone already in that sector - that’s where your network comes in.

Second suggestion - use any names you get from that person to address an enquiry/CV to someone personally ( you may not know them but somebody you know does. Tell them that’s how you made the connection).

Third suggestion - ask people in your network to give you feedback on your CV, personal performance etc to build up a clear picture of yourself.

Fourth suggestion - if you pay it forward  ie do a good turn for someone, remember that when you need help they should be only too willing to pay back.

Get out those coloured pens and a big piece of paper and start drawing!