May
9
Robert Hruzek’s monthly What I learned from… group writing projects have taxed my brain in the past but this one takes the cake. He has give 18 - yes you read that correctly - topics to choose from as a “mash up” for which I read a mix and match. Never one to shirk a challenge I decided just to go for all 18. Here goes.
In fact I sort of started with my post earlier this week about Stepping outside my comfort zone as in that post I was talking about the very friends who are once again the subject of a post on my blog.
I met these 5 lovely ladies at school. Two of them I knew from Primary School days ( age 5 - 11) and the other 3 I met when we started high school - in 1969 and we have been friends ever since. On leaving school we all followed different career paths and 25 years ago we started our monthly “Girls’ Night” get togethers which have become legendary amongst relatives , other friends and work colleagues. We are sure that this arrangement has lasted so long because we always put the date of the next night in the diary ( in fact we now do it 2 months in advance to keep things rolling).
When we hit the big 40 we started to take trips away together too. Although some of us had been on holidays together in couples we had never been away as a whole group up to that time. Our first momentous trip was to Dublin and we have since travelled by planes, trains and automobiles ( aka cars this side of the ocean!)
For a while one of our number lived overseas. This was no obstacle though - we could get over that by writing to her each month when we were together telling her what we were talking about as and when it happened ( it must have been interesting for her to read a week as the person tasked with the writing also had to cope with a couple of glasses of wine and supper). How much easier that would have been now with the new technology!
We have differing ideas of what to do for recreation but on our latest weekend spent amongst the mountains in the Highlands of Scotland we were just happy in each other’s company. The cabin we used had a television and we took some movies on DVD but in the main we kept it simple and bought in some food, shared a glass of wine together and just chatted and reminsced - using the time and space to just recall some of our shared memories.
During visits to each other’s homes over the years we have kept up to date with the development of our children ( and some of their pets - a particulary frisky dog and a lively hamster come to mind) who are now all young adults. My own daughter keeps up to date with her school friends too and I wonder if we have set a great precedent!
What I learned from staying in touch with my friends all these years is that
- with a bit of organisation it does not take much effort to stay in touch
- sharing each other’s ups and downs has made our friendships even stronger
- there is always something new to find out about someone you have known all your life
- years don’t age us - maybe we have a few wrinkles but our attitude is resolutely young
And I would like to say that for all sorts of reasons these ladies are my heroes.
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May
9
Some time ago I blogged about the great little book ” Who moved my cheese” which deals with people and how they cope with change in a humorous but thoughtprovoking way. Today I read this post by Jo entitled “Who moved my mouse” which made me smile too..
No matter what you do for a living or how you are living your life the future is here now. Jo’s story is on the face of it about technology but is essentially about using the resources we have now to live our lives. The endless debates about accessing Facebook at work for example often miss the point. Social media is very much a part of how people live now - so much better to work with it than resist?
While travelling with friends at the weekend we listened to CDs of 70s music and commented on how inane the words of the songs were ( we could remember them well enough to sing along though). I recall my father talking about “that noise” as I listed to my transistor radio. He talked about the melodies he listened to on 78 records ( the kind that shattered into 100 pieces if they were dropped). I listen to ( and dance to ) hip hop although I don’t have an ipod ( yet). I am happy now to admit that I love a lot of the “old” stuff Dad did but listening to it on CD or online….no going back.
I see that you can buy a player for the old vinyls that many of us 50 somethings may well have stashed in the attic. There is a growing industry based on nostalgia but - for fun.
It would be interesting to fast forward the little guy in Jo’s story to see what he hankered for when he is 50 - maybe the technology to do that is here already?
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May
8
This post by Steve Roesler includes some very interesting research findings under the heading - Generations Not At War.
It is timely as over the past few weeks I have been coaching a Space Unlimited programme with 16 year olds in school. They act as the consultants on a real business issue - take a look at the site to see the range of those. I am working with young people who will shortly be in the position to look for employment. When I speak to people of my age about this we have a sense of how things are different from when we set out into the world of work but I realise from the more time I spend with young people that there are many similarities.
The full findings of the research are included in Steve’s post but I would like to focus on just one for the moment
everybody wants respect
Dr Jennifer Deal says that respect is defined in different ways and says “Older people primarily talk about respect in terms of - give my opinions the weight I believe they deserve - and - do what I tell you to do. Younger respondents characterised respect more as - listen to me - and - pay attention to what I have to say“
Dr Deal’s definition very much resonates with me. Thankfully I work mainly with “older people” who still have their minds open but I occasionally come across someone who talks about today’s “youth” as if they were somehow subhuman. What I have learned from the younger people is that they do indeed have something to say and how hard they feel it is to get someone to listen to them. (As an aside I was fascinated learn last night that the right for a child to be heard is expressed in Article 12 of the UN’s Committee on the Rights of the Child.)
But to get back to respect for each other and recognising that there are differing definitions of respect depending on where you stand there is another factor which I would like to throw in to the discussion.
The ability to get on with co-workers is crucial to how an employee feels about work. Or flip that on its head - if you don’t get on with your co-workers going to work can be awful. There is a responsiblity on both sides though and the explanation of differing definitions of respect might also apply here. Bear with me.
Don Ledingham writes in an education based blog and a recent post was about whether teachers should have “unconditional positive regard” for pupils. They may not like the behaviour but that does not mean that they cannot like the child. It is an interesting debate in that context but I believe it also relates to the workplace. How would Dr Deal’s findings on the distrust of senior management be impacted if everybody had an unconditional positive regard for their colleagues. (Before we go off at a tangent on “conflicts in personality” the workplace is made up of people - every one of them with a different personality - and none better than another. Just different.)
So - if the starting point was that everybody - regardless of generation - regards each colleague positively the respect issue would take care of itself. Wouldn’t it?
This post is my entry for the Carnival of HR over at Career Encouragement Blog
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May
6
Five friends and I have just spent a weekend in a log cabin in the Scottish Highlands. It was a bank holiday here - an important factor in getting away as 3 of us are teachers and when the kids are in school they have to be too!
Last year at a charity ball we bid successfully for a 3 night stay in the cabin. Although there was very little information about the cabin and its location we were swept away by the fun of the evening and wanting to support the charity. So when we got round to choosing dates when we could go and started to look in more detail at what we had bought alarm bells were ringing. The cabin is located next to Loch Ruthven which - on any map I looked at - was some distance away from anywhere!
Now I need to paint a picture here for anyone who has not driven on Scottish roads. The route to the north of Scotland from Edinburgh is covered by large chunks of dual carriageway - reduced to regular roads when a loch/mountain/river/valley gets in the way. Then there are the single track roads with passing places - and the route to our cabin would be using the entire range!
None of the 6 of us need to drive much. Certainly we don’t have to drive far. There was a considerable lack of enthusiasm for driving to the cabin so I stepped up to the plate and said that if we hired an MPV I would do the driving. Certainly my drivers license does not only restrict me to driving a wee car in the city - in fact I think I can legally drive any size of vehicle up to a bus and we didn’t need one of them so what the heck - I was game to give it a go.
So last Friday afternoon we set off with the sun shining and a stock of music from the early 70s. As I turned off the main road for the last leg of the journey we were straight onto single track roads with passing places…and then when we turned towards the RSPB bird reserve the single track road was also unsealed in some places. But I took it all in my stride. As we turned a corner the loch opened up before us and the spectacular scenery made the journey more than worthwhile.
I even managed to park the MPV - which is twice the size of my own car - in a multistorey car park to much cheering from my pals and with a pic to prove it!
We spent Sunday circumnavigating Loch Ness ( it makes me sound like an intrepid explorer!!). Before I go any futher I need to do my tourist bit
VISIT SCOTLAND - IT IS BEAUTIFUL
OK - now on with the story. We took in a short sail up Loch Ness and drove along the south side which runs right by the edge of the loch and is much quieter. After a long and exciting day we were heading back to the cabin from a different direction than before. As I turned onto the nature reserve road I realised that this was again a single track road but I could not see any passing places. What was I going to do if I was met by a logging lorry coming in the opposite direction ( Why a logging lorry?? Well in Emotional Intelligence terms it is known as catastrophising…). I drove cautiously along and turning a corner I was indeed confronted by an immovable object - or a bunch of them. A flock of sheep - ewes with their lambs - were heading in my direction. There was nothing else to do but to sit and wait til they passed - definitely an awwww moment.
What did I learn from my weekend having stepped out of my comfort zone? Well here’s a summary
- if you don’t try you will never know if you could have been successful
- by not trying you might miss out on something truly wonderful
- the biggest obstacles often only exist in your head
- each small experience can build into a full toolkit of skills very quickly
AND
- there is nothing better in life than spending quality time with good friends
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May
2
I love this website. Every time I check in there is something else that makes me laugh out loud.
Let me know if you do…… laugh that is - or even if you find someone just perfect for your vacancy!
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