Here’s a question for a Monday morning ? When did you last say “I can’t ” do something ?Now think about what that really meant.
-Did you mean that you did not have the skills/time/resources to allow you to ?
or
- Did you mean that you did have what it took but didn’t want to?
or
- Did you mean that weighing up the options you had chosen not to?
There is quite a difference when you think about it.
Like when I went to my local car service centre to try to get a part for my car which had been ordered from another branch - which had not turned up. The guy told me he couldn’t help me because he had had nothing to do with that order. Can’t/don’t want to/chosen not to?
Or when a client says that they can’t take on a course of study which might improve their promotion chances. Can’t /don’t want to/chosen not to?
Or when you are approached by a charity to make a donation. Can’t/don’t want to/have chosen not to?
There is quite a difference between the 3 different responses. It’s important - and in view - very helpful to know which one you really mean.
We will all have experienced it.
You want something done but the person you are speaking to is not “the right person”. Now the good outcome then is when that person says …”but let me get them for you” and the bad is of course is when they leave you to find out just who that someone else is yourself.
But there is another side to the “it’s someone else’s job” issue and I was reminded of this when I read this post from The Harvard Business Review about leading when you don’t have formal authority. I had a boss once who was ( in my humble opinion) hypersensitive about “stepping on someone’s toes” which meant that members of their team were held back from being involved in projects that could have really benefitted from our input. I found it hard to see that happen and not step in but I still wanted to remain loyal to my boss so I would have a conversation at the coffee machine to get some more information to work on. Thankfully a couple of colleagues saw that as a good stategy too and before long we were invited into meetings and to collaborate on projects at the express wishes of the person whose job it was. And in turn we co-opted members of other teams to work with us.
Generating interest in what you are doing by talking it up in an engaging, exciting way can work for everyone who becomes involved which can result in great outcomes for the business and the individuals involved. An important thing to remember though when this happens is to give timely and meaningful feedback to be included in any performance appraisal. It’s easy for work which is not done in the normal day to day job and has not been included in specific objectives to be overlooked.
I was following Breanne on Twitter yesterday. She was at something called “Get Motivated” where the speakers included Zig Ziglar, Rudi Guiliani and Colin Powell ( amongst others ). This post is a summary of the experience for her.
Of the list of her favourite quotes at the end though I like this one most
Colin Powell: Good followers get mad when they have to carry the weight of the bad followers. The hardest thing a leader has to do is tell the bad follower they will either be trained, moved or fired- and that is the greatest responsibility of a leader.
Worth thinking about no matter what your level of leadership is.
I have spent the past few mornings catching up on the Olympics. This has been a very pleasant experience as each time I turn on the TV it seems like Britain has won yet another gold medal.
As a nation we Brits are not used to celebrating sporting success. In fact we somewhat have a reputation of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of the “failures” I suspect were around media hype about our real potential. Or maybe it is about our own belief in our abilities.
One of the best stories for me is in the women’s cycling. Rebecca Romero took gold and Wendy Houvenhaghel the silver. The ladies were justifiably proud of their achievement. Who wouldn’t be.
After speaking to Rebecca the interviewer turned to Wendy and asked her if she ever dreamed of standing on an Olympic winners rostrum. And she said - yes she had.
Wow! Such honesty. I am not sure that that would have been a question asked anywhere else in the world. But here in Britain we don’t really do that dreaming stuff well. We might well do the dreaming but are reluctant to admit it for fear of getting above ourselves.
But without the dream what was she aiming for?
I am an armchair sportsperson. Any exercise I take is for pleasure - not competition. So I am not ideally placed to comment on focus, dreams or goals in any sport.
But I do know that in life in general having a dream, and setting goals to achieve that dream - is wonderfully powerful.
Congratulations to all of our Olympic medal winners so far.
Keep living the dream.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about amibition and discected the word and meaning. With my passion for words I think I will make this a regular feature so here is my word for this week
Encourager - someone who inspires with spirit and hope..
Why?
I spent a couple of days with my colleagues from Speakersbank towards the end of last week. We were learning how to deliver another programme of training on public speaking and taking it into presentation skills.
A vital part of any Speakersbank training is the feedback. Although as a trainer I will give feedback throughout the day we also ask everybody to give feedback on each other’s performance. We believe that the learning from observing and noticing another performance can be as important as receiving feedback yourself.
The model we use is WIN with feedback - say what went well, suggest an improvement and end on something to do next time ( or what was wonderful, suggest an improvement, end on a nice comment).
We were learning together as trainers which in itself was a great opportunity to share good ideas. On the other hand that can sometimes be more daunting …after all we are supposed to be the experts. But of course experts always have more to learn.
One of our colleagues - Robin - when giving feedback said “I would encourage you to…” At first I didn’t notice and then when he had done this a few times we commented on how powerful that was.
To encourage someone to do something - to inspire, incite…wow!
Telling someone what you think is one thing. Giving meaningful feedback with examples for improvement is good - encouraging is great!
So I encourage you this week to be an encourager - and if you find that you have some dis -couraging tendencies I would encourage you to think about that too!
