When is it OK to badmouth your employer? Here are some suggestions -
- On your Facebook page - it’s your own private place after all and everybody is entitled to a private life
- In the bar - loudly - at the end of a stressful week because offloading is healthy!
- In an interview with a potential new employer - they need to know why you are so keen to join them.
- With a colleague in the lift on the way to your desk - they will know where you are coming from!
- When you have moved to another employer - it doesn’t matter any more does it?
Let’s be clear here - it is never, ever OK to badmouth your employer to other people ( significant others in the privacy of your own home excluded).
If a situation at work is bothering you the person you should be talking to about that is your boss. Now we all know that in the real world some bosses are better than others. It would be wonderful if there were more that followed what Steve Roesler advises in this excellent post where he says ”If you take time to ask people what they’re looking for, they will tell you. And that makes your job a whole lot easier.” But still - if you don’t raise your concersn with your boss how can anything even begin to change?
The next time you are about to tell the world and it’s auntie how truly awful your employer is think about how it reflects on you.
- does the fact that you disagree with something mean you should broadcast that to the world on you social networks ( where it stays for a Very. Long .Time.)
- because your guard is down after a couple of beers does not mean that everyone is quite so - ahem - relaxed
- a potential employer might rate loyalty very highly in an employee - which is exactly what you are demonstrating - yes?
- your colleague might just need you to work closely with them and to be able to do that they need to be able to trust you - but are they now wondering what will you say about them behind their back?
- so you moved into a new job and left all that behind until it turns out the new boss hired in to manage your department comes from - wait for it - your old employer. It happens!
Here’s a suggestion - instead of saying ”my boss is an idiot” - try turning it into “I don’t understand what my boss is trying to do..” and see where it goes from there.
Would really love your thoughts on this one!
Last week, when I was working with a group of managers , we got down to the nitty gritty of the difference between good and bad managers. Split into 2 groups the participants wrote down a list of good and bad.
The underlying theme was that good managers communicate well and bad managers don’t.
Obvious isn’t it?
But for something so obvious it is still difficult to get right.
When time is of the essence it is tempting to jump in with solutions at best - instructions at worst. But by taking a wee bit of time to listen to what everybody involved has to say there might be another, better way. And because it has been “co-created” you should be able to expect a better level of buy-in.
Ultimately though my thought for this Friday is….
to listen effectively you must first disengage your mouth.
A post over at the excellent Ask A Manager blog caught my attention. A manager blows up - in front of customers - to berate an employee for calling him to ask for a break.
We all know that there are some managers out there who are not up to their job. And there are many many examples of really bad behaviour from people in responsible positions. But there is something about this story that made me stop for a moment.
This manager screamed at the employee in front of the customers. By any standards that is both inappropriate and - on the face of it - behaviour disproportionate to the incident itself. So of course, someone has to take this up with the manager involved because I suspect that their breaking point might just have been reached!
I posted about stress a couple of weeks ago. We all live with stress - it’s part of live - but when it becomes distress something has to be done.
Over the past few weeks of really confusing and downright bad news on the economy front most of us will have wondered what that means for us. The wait to see if you will lose your job is really distressing. But even if that is not immediately on the cards what about your partner’s job ? What about paying he mortgage? What about being able to pay for the food and fuel bills? It seems like even those who had financial planning nailed are now finding themselves caught out.
So here is a call out for us all to pay a bit more attention to how our colleagues are right now. If you see signs of behaviour that is a bit out of the ordinary - be it shouting or being really quiet - note it. Offer a hand - or an ear. It’s always a tricky call to decide if and when to get involved but if you feel you can do something helpful and supportive - please do - even if it is just to ask for advice from someone more experienced on how to help.
One of the joys of working the way I do is that I get to travel to many parts of the country. This is marginally less enjoyable when I have to drive though - my strong preference is to take the bus or train. Today I needed to be in a school near ( but not in or the train would have worked) Glasgow so I set out with Radio 4 on for my entertainment and education.
A couple of things I learned this morning were
1 The Conservative Party have used a consultancy to advise on marketing to women called “Pretty Little Head”. I am still not sure whether I am insulted or amused by this title….erring on the former at the moment.
2 Some employers might be - and I say might be because I did not hear any evidence being provided - prepared to cancel the office Christmas party saying that they can’t afford it this year in the current economic climate.
Now I have to hold up my hand and say that I have never been to a work Christmas party that i remember being great. Others had a great time. Stories were legendary ( like the time I let a door go in the face of one of the new members of staff and knocked her out. Both of us were traumatised - for differing reasons!) I would much prefer to have a meal and a few drinks with close colleagues and I have fond memories of great times spent with workmates doing just that.
So - are employers really going to pull the plug on Christmas festivities? I expect some will. But I am equally sure that others will feel that this year it is even more important to thank everyone for their efforts in challenging times and look at ways to minimise the expense by providing some nice food and a few bottles of wine in the boardroom. This should also meet the expectations of those who feel that their employer should do something. And for those who want to hang around for half an hour to show face but then get home to the million and one things that seem to need to be done in the run up it will be great!
I posted about about Kim Cameron’s Personal Management Interview Programme last week as the idea seemed simple and full of potential. Following this I read this post from Don Ledingham’s Learning Log. Don is Acting Director of Education and Childrens’ Services for East Lothian - a beautiful area to the east of Edinburgh and where we lived when our children were at primary school age.
Don’s idea of having weekly meetings to which he will invite groups of people within the service he heads to talk to him again sounds like one of those ideas that are so simple that you have to wonder why more people are not working this way.
And then I thought back to opportunities that came up for me in the past to speak with someone who had the overall view, the power to make changes and the ( apparent) desire to listen to me. Personally I took this at face value and contributed when asked. But so many people are wary about saying something that might “come back to haunt them” which means that they either did not take the chance to speak or contributed a diluted version of what they really wanted to say.
OK - that comment must be taken in context. Some leaders are really great listeners who use what they hear to make beneficial changes or to build more on the already good stuff. Much depends on how they are viewed by their people- and that pretty much comes down to trust and rapport. So a leader whom most of the workforce would not recognise if they bumped into them will have a bit more work to do than someone who “walks the talk”.
I know that Don is out and about in his role. How can I know that? Well he has been blogging for a couple of years. What he does, thinks and where he has been is there for anyone to see - including employees for whom he is ultimately responsible.
The new way of “walking the talk” - there must be a Web 2.0 phrase for that! I am looking forward to reading more about how his idea pans out.
