Who are you comparing yourself to?

I remember going to a school reunion many years ago when I was in my early 30s. I realised that I really wanted to know what had happened to those people that I aspired to be when I was a teen – the attractive ones, the really clever ones even the naughty ones to some extent

It was both an eye-opener and a bit of a disappointment. Some of those who didn’t stand out at school were now very successful and nice people to boot ( not that those 2 things are mutually exclusive you understand) and some of the others were – well – just normal and just like me.

Of course a lot of that was about confidence – teen confidence and 30 something confidence are a bit different.

But human nature often pulls us towards comparing ourselves to others.

Some of that comes across when I speak to people in their career transition and is often manifested by looking at what others are doing and aspiring to that rather than really looking at themselves and what they really want to do themselves.

Some of the younger folk I meet compare themselves to family members – “successful” parents and siblings – which hinders real thought into what success would look like for them.

There will probably be times when having a comparison can be helpful . I remember thinking that someone I thought had a great job  until I got the chance to have a glass of wine and relaxed chat with them and they told me that that was the first evening that they had not been in the office until 10pm that month. That soon put things into perspective.

So – who are you comparing yourself with right now? And just how helpful is that?