Taking time to notice what is around you
This is my entry in this month’s What I Learned from Group writing project hosted by Robert Hruzek over at Middle Zone Musings. Robert suggests What I learned from the Sidewalk. You owe it to yourself to take a look at his excellent blog – and to get a sense of how his mind works ( which is a challenge!). The underlying theme – as I understand it – is to encourage us to take time to notice what is around us and here is my story.
I like to take the bus into the City Centre. Edinburgh is a very car-unfriendly city and the stress of parking is just too much for me so a bus ride with a good book/newspaper is my preferred option. The bus stop is about 5 minutes away from my house -or shorter if I have timed the buses wrong and have to run to catch it – not a pretty sight if I have my heels on! I have walked that path many times and stood at the bus stop for longer than I ever planned.
One day I saw the bus appear in the distance but I was just too far to make it. I sighed and sauntered on in a very British way pretending that I did not what that one anyway. It meant that I was the only person at the stop and as I grumbled to myself for not switching the PC off one e-mail earlier to give myself those extra couple of minutes I notice an elderly gentleman make his way across the road. He joined me at the bus stop and I knew that he wanted to chat. I am blessed to have my own elderly parents still nearby and know how much they value the chance to chat so I smiled and commented on how nice a morning it was.
He agreed and then went on to tell me how the timing of his daily visit to the supermarket was judged by the weather. He did the shopping for his disabled wife – and he indicated that they lived in the house opposite the bus stop and that she would be sitting at the window watching for him until he got back.
To tell you the truth I had never really noticed the house before but he then told me with pride that he had had it built in the late 1950s for his wife and young family when he was stationed at the local army barracks. He had been in the army for many years and it was obvious by the way he carried himself. It was not hard to imagine him standing tall at the cenotaph each Rememberance Day.
He then told me – with some pride – that he was 92! I realise now that there is a cutting off point when young people do not want you to mention their ages – and a trigger point where elderly people love to tell you how old they are. 92 is pretty impressive.
The bus came and he climbed on sitting in the seat reserved for the elderly though I am sure he would still have stood up to offer a seat to a lady if need be. I waved as he got off a few stops later at the supermarket.
After that I always looked across at the house when I was at the bus stop and wondered if his wife was watching for him. Then one day I saw a large car in the drive and a young man carrying out boxes. A couple of days a van was there and more stuff was being removed. Sadly I had to conclude that all was not well. I did not feel that I could go over and ask what had happened. Maybe I should have. No “For Sale” sign went up but soon afterwards it was clear that there was some building work going on for an extension and the once pristine tidy garden ( all his own work) was a bit tired and scruffy.
The new owners have grown a high hedge round the property and you can’t see much of the house now but I still think about the old gentleman and his story. We rarely get to find out much about what goes on behind the doors of houses we pass often but this insight to man who provided a home for his family and cared lovingly for his wife right to the end warmed my heart.
Tags: What I learned from
Mar 02, 2009
Sometimes the only thing we get is a mere glimpse – but it can yield such a wealth of thought – don’cha think?
Lovely story, Jackie, and a hat tip for joining us for WILF this month! Hey, you might just win a prize!
Mar 03, 2009
Jackie, what a lovely, if sad story. Meeting people like this is the very best thing about travelling by bus! Old people have so much dignity and wisdom to teach us… if we can only slow down enough to notice.
Mar 03, 2009
Hi Robert
Some time ago I spoke to a lady who was writing a book and her inspiration came from what she saw through windows of houses as she travelled by bus. I felt vaguely uncomfortable with that but admired her creativity. My mere glimpse did indeed give me pause for thought about the old man i met – and others who I see regularly but know nothing about.
thanks for this month’s WILF challenge – and for me of course it is the taking part that matters
Mar 03, 2009
Hey Joanna
I remember how much the stops for a chat mattered to my late mother in law when she was the main carer for her husband as his own health failed. I might be the only person to engage in conversation that day – or week.
Thank you for coming by.
Mar 09, 2009
[...] Taking Time to Notice What is Around You, by Jackie Cameron at Jackie Cameron – Coaching and Communication [...]
Mar 09, 2009
I just recently discovered the joy of riding the bus. You get to see things you would have never noticed if you were driving. Not having to park downtown is also nice. Plus I get time to read.
Mar 09, 2009
Hi Luke
I love to read on the bus too. I used to suffer from motion sickness but as I got older it seems to have diminished . A 25 minute bus ride is just the right length for a chapter or 2 of a good book!
And if i am not reading I am people watching. That drives my daughter nuts when she is with me
Mar 10, 2009
I miss catching public transport for many reasons, but mostly I miss the chance to interact with strangers. You find out so much about your neighbours and your neighbourhood, which you miss in the car.
Mar 15, 2009
Thank you for the reminder that lessons not only can be learned from sidewalks but also those that often get disregarded. My parents are in their 80’s and my most favorite time with them is when they share the memories of their past. It is like opening up a much loved book.
Mar 15, 2009
Thank you Annie. Like you I love when older people tell their stories. Very little of this will ever be written down and there is something powerful in the ancient tradition of handing down stories by word of mouth. My aunt has been staying with my parents for the past couple of weeks – the first time in many years. I have heard some of their shared stories for the first time and many stories I have heard before. So here’s to opening that virtual “much loved book” regularly and often.
Mar 15, 2009
Kazari – I so agree. I have had so many conversations on the bus too…and sometimes listened in on some very interesting ones ( remember to lower your voice if you don’t want to be overheard!)