This is my entry in the monthly group writing project  “What I learned from..” hosted by Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings.

When  Robert put up the topic for this month’s WILF I was sure that he would be inundated with entries - coinciding as it is ( deliberately) with the US Presidential election. Flip that over to this side of the ocean - and over the other side of the Firth of Forth and we have an election later this week  the outcome of which  - depending on which papers you read - may well trigger an election of our own . The by-election for the town of Glenrothes in Fife is shaping up to be a fight between the current uncumbent party - Labour, the party of the UK Government - and the Scottish National Party ( SNP) the party in government in Scotland. 

Anyway, I am not a political person in that I have no allegiance to any particular political party . I always vote in elections and will choose who I vote for on the basis of what I hear from the candidates that appeals to me personally - in relation to my family and wider community.

So , I have to get past my natural human instinct to vote for someone because I like how they look. This makes me sound really shallow. I really hope I am sure I am not alone in this….

I read body language pretty well. And indeed  in a recent test as part of an Emotional Intelligence course I scored 35 out of 36 on reading the expressions from  photographs  which showed only eyes which according to the course leader means that I could make a mint from playing poker if I chose! So when I see a politician I am looking for clues in their body language which will provide evidence for me that they are saying what they really mean. In my speaking training I tell my students about how we receive more of a message from  body language and tone than the words themselves. I won’t repeat the statistics here as there is a continuing debate on  how accurate they are and I can’t validate it sufficiently to be satisfied myself and that is somewhat the point. I am looking - at all times - for something to back up my gut feeling ( and over-ride that superficial how they look issue..). 

And this brings me to my point.  It is very difficult, if not impossible, to find examples of a politician answering a direct question with “yes” or “no”. Learning to avoid those two words must be really challenging. I guess it gives them more time to elaborate on what they want us to know - which is not necessarily related to what they were asked about! As a coach I focus on asking open questions so that my clients cannot answer with one word. TV and radio interviewers seem to do the opposite and will often go back over and over again looking for that yes or no - and rarely getting it. So looking at how they act and listening to their tone is the only way to try to find out what they really mean.

Which brings me to the word “sorry”.  A simple apology for something that you have responsibility for can made all the difference.  I hear lots of “it is regrettable” type answers which sort of work.  That’s why I really liked this recent article in the Times about getting saying sorry right - and indeed getting it wrong too.  It made me laugh - but it also made me think.

As the politicians on both sides of the Atlantic try to get our attention ( and votes) i will continue to watch out for a stray yes, no or sorry ….but I am not holding my breath.