Jan
24
Bullying at work
Filed Under Leadership, Personal awareness
An article over at HR Zone about bullying at work got me thinking.
Let me start by saying that I was a victim of workplace bullying many years ago. The fact that this still haunts me shows the damaging effects of bullying. I take the issue of bullying very seriously.
My bully was verbally abusive and constantly made comments about me and what I did. He knew perfectly well the impact his behaviour had on me. As did others who described it as “just the way it is”. Hmm.
But I do believe the many people whose behaviour is having a harmful impact on another person have no idea that that is the case. According to Marie Strebler, a senior research fellow from The Institute for Employment Studies in the article
”Too often……. the bully is blissfully unaware that their actions are causing misery and upset. Often in these cases it’s only when absence and high turnover situations comes to light that the bully is then recognised as the perpetrator of the trouble, which often is news to them as well.”
I have spoken to many people who have suffered at the hands of a colleague at work. Too often they tell of how - even after a period of absence from work is required because of the impact - they are not sure that anyone has spoken to the ”bully” about it. This may well compound the feeling of being a ”victim” by somehow making it seem that only they have to deal with it ( get better) rather than the perpetrator also having to understand the consequences of their behaviour.
This must contribute to the assertion that there seems to be no reduction ( and maybe an increase) of reported cases of bullying in the workplace.
On the other hand a friend was distressed to tell me that they had found out ( during their performance review at work - oh my goodness) that a colleague had made accusations of bullying against them. They were horrified. They genuinely had no sense that their methods of managing and communication were being received that way. They asked for and were given support to work with a specialist to help understand more and make necessary changes.
As Marie Stebler says - the companies who work with the bully to help them recognise and change their behaviour - difficult though that might be - must be the winners.
I know this is a topic that people feel strongly about. Please share your stories.
Hello Jackie. My own story would go on for about 100 pages. Anyway out of my experiences I have developed a strong interest in psychology. Bullies usually have a personality disorder and they psychologically “project” their own failings onto a scapegoat. They are always “in denial”. Another closely related topic is emotional intelligence of which bullies have very little.
There isn’t a precise definition of what bullying is or isn’t but whatever it is, it is a subset of a range of possible dysfunctional behaviour by someone with a personality disorder.
Ref my website http://www.bullyeq.com
Hi David Thanks for commenting - and for the link.