7 ways to ensure you get the job you want.. ( not!)

(A bit of fun for the end of the week)

1 Apply for jobs for which you don’t have the experience requested in the advert but which you know you can do –  then don’t make any link between the experience you do have an what they are asking for. It makes the hirer’s sift to reduce their pile of candidates so much easier.

2 Include something less than the truth in your CV or job application form. They’ll never find out will they? Might be a pity though that that interest or hobby you have included to make yourself look a bit more “rounded” happens to be a passion of the person interviewing.

3 Turn up at the interview late – looking like you have been dragged through a hedge backwards, smelling of last night’s dinner - some of which might still be on your jacket. Oh – and be sure to wear those shoes that have been gathering dust at the back of the cupboard instead of your usual tatty casual shoes – they may be a bit dirty but they are your “smart” shoes.

4 Whatever you do don’t answer the question you are asked. Be sure to tell the interviewer everything you want them to know about you – but don’t make it apply to anything part of their questioning.

5 Don’t wait for the interviewer to ask you if you have any questions – just go for it. Of course it is crucial to know how much you will be paid and when you will get your first raise – so get that out of the way early on. Wait a bit  before you ask about how many duvet days you can have.

6 Be sure to let them know how you feel about your current employer so that they won’t make the same mistakes. It will also save everybody time if you also say what kind of people you won’t work well with – they can start thinking about how to rework the team to make you fit.

7 Find out how long it will take them to make the selection and throw in that you have another couple of offers on the go – which you are probably more interested in anyway. That should spur them on to get back to you very quickly.

….any others?