Jackie Cameron - Coaching and Communication

For the first time in a very long time I was really nervous before making my presentation last night. As I was driving to the venue - about 20  miles away I was running through the tips I give others when I am training. At Speakersbank we don’t say that we have the guaranteed way to eliminate nerves. We recognise where they come from , how they feel and what can be done to cope with them. For example

1 Speak about what you know . If you don’t know a lot make a point of finding out more

2 Be prepared. I had ages to do this and got some good back up information for the points I was making

3 Practice - and then practice some more.  I spent most of yesterday afternoon doing that. The more you practice the easier to store more in your head ( and do away with referring to notes)

4 Take your notes as a backup ( just in case). I am often asked what to do if your mind goes completely blank in front of the audience. The chances of that are small. Really. If you have done 1, 2 and 3  then a quick look at your notes should be enough to send you off and running.

5 Focus on positive talk to yourself - I will make a good speech, the audience will be very interested in what I have to say etc. Negative self- talk is never helpful ( in any situation) . Turn what you are saying round to positives.

6 Breathe! - It’s a must.  Slow steady breathing.

When it was time for me to stand up and speak my heart was pounding but I remembered to breathe. I had eliminated the negative self talk and reminded myself that the content was interesting, that I had practiced enough and that - crucially - the audience would want me to succeed.

And I allowed myself a wee smile when someone said that it was good to see that I had real control of my breathing. Little did they know.

This is my entry in the monthly group writing project  “What I learned from..” hosted by Robert Hruzek at Middle Zone Musings.

When  Robert put up the topic for this month’s WILF I was sure that he would be inundated with entries - coinciding as it is ( deliberately) with the US Presidential election. Flip that over to this side of the ocean - and over the other side of the Firth of Forth and we have an election later this week  the outcome of which  - depending on which papers you read - may well trigger an election of our own . The by-election for the town of Glenrothes in Fife is shaping up to be a fight between the current uncumbent party - Labour, the party of the UK Government - and the Scottish National Party ( SNP) the party in government in Scotland. 

Anyway, I am not a political person in that I have no allegiance to any particular political party . I always vote in elections and will choose who I vote for on the basis of what I hear from the candidates that appeals to me personally - in relation to my family and wider community.

So , I have to get past my natural human instinct to vote for someone because I like how they look. This makes me sound really shallow. I really hope I am sure I am not alone in this….

I read body language pretty well. And indeed  in a recent test as part of an Emotional Intelligence course I scored 35 out of 36 on reading the expressions from  photographs  which showed only eyes which according to the course leader means that I could make a mint from playing poker if I chose! So when I see a politician I am looking for clues in their body language which will provide evidence for me that they are saying what they really mean. In my speaking training I tell my students about how we receive more of a message from  body language and tone than the words themselves. I won’t repeat the statistics here as there is a continuing debate on  how accurate they are and I can’t validate it sufficiently to be satisfied myself and that is somewhat the point. I am looking - at all times - for something to back up my gut feeling ( and over-ride that superficial how they look issue..). 

And this brings me to my point.  It is very difficult, if not impossible, to find examples of a politician answering a direct question with “yes” or “no”. Learning to avoid those two words must be really challenging. I guess it gives them more time to elaborate on what they want us to know - which is not necessarily related to what they were asked about! As a coach I focus on asking open questions so that my clients cannot answer with one word. TV and radio interviewers seem to do the opposite and will often go back over and over again looking for that yes or no - and rarely getting it. So looking at how they act and listening to their tone is the only way to try to find out what they really mean.

Which brings me to the word “sorry”.  A simple apology for something that you have responsibility for can made all the difference.  I hear lots of “it is regrettable” type answers which sort of work.  That’s why I really liked this recent article in the Times about getting saying sorry right - and indeed getting it wrong too.  It made me laugh - but it also made me think.

As the politicians on both sides of the Atlantic try to get our attention ( and votes) i will continue to watch out for a stray yes, no or sorry ….but I am not holding my breath.

Sometimes you just know at what point you discovered you need to take action to do something better! In terms of getting up in front of an audience to speak this point was at the US Employee Relocation Council Symposium in Los Angeles in October 1997.

At that time I managed the new  international mobility division of an established, successful relocation company here in Edinburgh. The opportunity had arisen for us to provide a speaker and my boss put me forward . I recall I was on holiday when he did this  and so by the time I had come back it was a done deal. I had to have some pictures taken for the promotional brochure and make some travel arrangements. This trip I was to travel with my colleague Kristin, a lovely lady and US citizen who had never been to the West Coast.

I was to be part of a panel talking about aspects of international relocations and I was to cover work permits.  The symposium at that time focused on mobility in the US and the international stuff was still a bit out of the ordinary. 

We arrived in LA - had a good night’s sleep, headed out to network …and then the jetlag hit me. I knew that if I took a nap I would sleep for hours so, as we had a free afternoon before the proper start of the event, we headed to Santa Monica beach. We left just enough time to get back and go to dinner. We were there for 3 whole days. On day 2 I had to give in  and go for a nap as I literally could not keep my eyes open after lunch.  I was raring to go late into the night which is the complete opposite to how I am at home though. I was due to speak after lunch on day 3  - just when I would be at my tiredest. Arrgh.

I had not met my fellow panelists before arriving in LA  but after a quick meeting we decided that we were good to go .

So the big moment arrived I had spoken to audiences before but never at an event of this scale. About 50 or so turned up for this one.  Much of what actually happened is a blur now but I know that each speaker had their own take on their remit and we were not joined up. The topic was really dry. The audience were restless. And it felt as flat as a pancake. I breathed a sigh of relief when I was done.

A couple of weeks later I received a tape of the session - and the audience feedback. I listened to the tape and cringed. My content was awful and it was clear to me - and it must have been to the audience - that I thought so.  I also sounded really tired ( which of course I was).

The feedback I got reflected this though I have to say that the style was not particularly helpful. The comments were more about how the respondent felt about the issue - work permits - and my accent.

One drilled into my brain went on the lines of “Cameron [note ; not Jackie] speaks with a thick accent - she needs to slow down and speak clearly for her audience”. That was  turning point for me. I had broken so many rules on effective public speaking.  No wonder my audience was unimpressed.

1. I could have found out more about my audience and tailored the content which  was new to many of them.
2. If I had rehearsed my speech I could have made changes . I had the opportunity to try it out on Kristin which would have highlighted changes I could make.
3. Speaking too fast is common for many people speaking in public - in this case it was even more important to slow down as my accent got in the way too
4. Speaking to the others on the panel before I travelled and then meeting them could have helped  with my discomfort on where my part fitted with theirs.
5. We all delivered our presentations sitting down - can’t remember why we did that!

I was delighted - and a bit surprised - to be invited to speak at the 2000 symposium in Washington DC and that went really well. I suspect that - apart from being far more professional about it - the fact that I had all but lost my voice got me a sympathy vote!

I was speaking to a local branch of Rotarians on Monday about the work I am doing in public speaking training and coaching young people in business projects. I had been given a 20 minute slot but the other business of the meeting had run over and I realised that the audience would probably prefer if I took only 15 which would leave time for questions.

Ironically one of those questions was -  is there a case for keeping a speech short and to the point?

Personally, having been in way too many audiences when the speakers have gone over time and their content wasn’t that interesting in any case. There are situations and topics where  short and impactful is by far the best option. Of course you need to discuss this with your host first so that they are not left with a gaping hole in their schedule! A while back I was offered the chance to speak for 15 minutes to ask for sponsorship for a charity walk I was doing.  I suggested that 5 minutes would be enough . The host was delighted as he was torn between giving me the opportunity and wanting his team to be back at their desks doing meaningful work! My 5 minutes was fine - I got my message across without unnecessary detail ( which I would have had to use to pad my time out) and I got over £1000 in sponsorship! Result!!

So how can you make a short, memorable speech?

1 It goes without saying that before you start you should be clear about the message you want to get across

2 Start with a great attention grabbing opening statement or quote, explain what you are going to talk about, split the middle chunk into 3 parts  and link your ending to your initial quote/statement

3 Allocate a time to each section - 2 minutes here, 3 minutes there ( and add it up!!) If it is already more than your allotted slot - what can you leave out?

4 When you have a speech that will fill the time allotted look at what could reasonably be left out without changing the impact -  and have that as a fallback.

5 When you are waiting to speak observe your audience. Add something about what you have noticed to link what you are going to say to them. And if they are already restless and yawning think how much more they will enjoy your short and meaningful talk.

6 Remember the audience does not know what you are going to say until you say it - so if you leave something out they will be none the wiser!

BUT, and this is really important, don’t be tempted to start with “I will be quick..” or ” I realise you are keen to get home…” Remember short and impactful….those statements will immediately diminish the value of what you have to say.

A big word of encouragement. For those of you out there who think they  would prefer to stick pins in their eyes than speak in front of an audience start small with a 5 minute spot in front of your own team, family, friends and get some feedback. Then go on from there!

My husband is very keen on the above quote.  He applies it in all sorts of ways. I was reminded of this when chatting to someone about taking on a part time study course. I did this in my mid 30s and they asked me how I coped being a student, holding down a full time job and ( at that time) being the mum of school age children. Looking back I would love to say that I was fully prepared for each of my roles. In practice I had a very good support network and I muddled through.

In the third year of my studies ( it was a 4 year course) my daughter fell ill and had to be admitted to hospital. She was fine and now takes medication but I stayed in hospital with her for a few days and when she got home we needed to make adjustments to family life - studying was the furthest thing from my mind. I missed lectures but when it came up to exam time I could not face the prospect of resitting that semester so I crammed my revision and  study into a very short focused time and - thankfully - passed them all.

Memo to me - plan - and build in some “what if” time, which I now do routinely. My biggest challenge now is recognising how much time is enough for preparation. If I give myself too much I find it hard to focus. I have a really important speaking engagement this evening which I have been preparing for a couple of months now. And suddenly it is here and I will practice ( in front of the mirror…fun!) later.  I feel sure I could have done all of the preparation over the weekend with the same result.

No matter what I will be prepared. Do you have any thoughts or stories to share about  how much preparation time is enough for you?