Jackie Cameron - Coaching and Communication

My good friend Louise and I were chatting about goals the other night.  I have known her for a long time and have seen her pull a small notebook out of her bag to write furiously on many occasions. As she did this in response to something we had been discussing she told me about Super Seven ( I googled this and was hit with masses of gambling pages ….be clear, that is not what I am talking about here!)

In her little book she makes a list of 7 things to do each day -  business,family, fun things.  And most days she does them all. Apart from being very organised that can also be very satisfying.

Now my poor long suffering husband has put up with my poor completer/finisher tendencies and suddenly I see light at the end of the tunnel - for both of us. He leaves me notes ( on scraps of paper) of what to do. I tidy them up …and they never see the light of day again. He asks how I got on with a particular task…well you can guess the rest.

So I have started my own Super Seven book.

And there is an exciting new twist on this for Louise and I - well we think so anyway. We only write our lists on the right hand page. The page opposite is left blank. So we have decided to start to note on that page the highlights of the day. OK - I have only been doing this for  a few days but my highlights have included 3 year old Grace drawing me a picture with a heart on it for my office, a fun conversation with  a friend in France during which we decided that having patience will reap rewards and finding an exhibition of the history of printing in Edinburgh which included a section on bookbinding - my Dad’s craft.

So at the end of the year we will have acheived most of the 7 goals for each day and we will have a record of at least 365 highlights.

It is simple - but I think inspirational.

Please share if you already do something like this. And if you do start your own Super Seven books let us know!

Jo at Flowing Motion commented on yesterday’s post that

“if the goal isn’t daunting, it is probably not worth pursuing”

which got me thinking.

A couple of years back I was mentor to students at Napier University . They were studying for a degree in Human Resource Management . The course was accredited by the CIPD and as part of the accreditation process each student was required to keep a satisfactory learning plan and record  for submission at the end of their period of study.  The course leaders took them through what was required and explained the concept of SMART objectives. Their interaction with me as mentor was mainly by e-mail but I met with each group before they got started to talk about setting challenging goals.

Now, many of us remember our student days, and the time demands of reading, research , classtime and exam sitting kind of focus your mind for just as long as is needed. For many of my  mentees what I was asking them to do was just another burden and I met with some resistance. But by chipping away at them they gradually saw that instead of being something else to do it could be part of what they were already doing and I was really encouraged by the difference that made.

To start with the goals were along the lines of “passing the exam in xxxx”- Well, I let that pass in the first semester but then - unless they did - there would be no second semester anyway. But then I challenged them to think about what they would do with the academic learning eg how that would raise awareness of specialisms in HRM, what they wanted to focus on in their future careers, what kind of employers they would like to have ( and  indeed like to be !). Having completed the same course some years before I was well aware that the content and range was vast.

Into the third semester and I started to be really picky about insisting that goals were challenging - the kind Jo talks about. It was not my responsibility as mentor to tell the mentees what they should and shoudn’t focus on - but by now I had a keen sense of when the goal was not challenging for that individual - and would ask them to rethink if it was.

After all that - and bearing in the mind the initial resistance - the comments I received from the students as they were about to graduate were really encouraging. I hoped that the process they had become used to at University would become part of their regular practice. And that when it came to goal setting - they would not take the “easy option”

I have spent the past few mornings catching up on the Olympics. This has been a very pleasant experience as each time I turn on the TV it seems like Britain has won yet another gold medal.

As a nation we Brits are not used to celebrating sporting success. In fact we somewhat have a reputation of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of the “failures” I suspect were around media hype about our real potential. Or maybe it is about our own belief in our abilities.

One of the best stories for me is in the women’s cycling. Rebecca Romero took gold and Wendy Houvenhaghel the silver. The ladies were justifiably proud of their achievement. Who wouldn’t be.

After speaking to Rebecca the interviewer turned to Wendy and asked her if she ever dreamed of standing on an Olympic winners rostrum. And she said   - yes she had.

Wow! Such honesty. I am not sure that that would have been a question asked anywhere else in the world. But here in Britain we don’t really do that dreaming stuff well. We might well do the dreaming but are reluctant to admit it for fear of getting above ourselves.

But without the dream what was she aiming for?

I am an armchair sportsperson. Any exercise I take is for pleasure - not competition. So I am not ideally placed to comment on focus, dreams or goals in any sport.

But I do know that in life in general having a dream, and setting goals to achieve that dream  - is wonderfully powerful.

Congratulations to all of our Olympic medal winners so far.

Keep living the dream.

I was really confused by the new Orange advert. Then I got it. The message seems - to me anyway - to be that everyone we meet in our lives has an impact on who we are now.

Of course this will be true to a greater or lesser extent depending on who it is. For most of us our parents will be amongst the highest influencers but kids at school are influenced by their peers and even oldies like my Dad are being influenced by his new found pals at his art class.

As most of us spend a significant part of our days in the world of work the influence of co-workers is likely to have a significant impact on who we are and how we behave. A warning though - it may not all be positive.

Let’s think about how co-workers influence who we are

1 We want to be like them

Did you have someone at school whose style was so cool that you copied it? It might just have been the way they dressed. It might have been the kind of people they would hang about with. It might have been their behaviour like - ahem - smoking!? As I look back I so wanted to be one of the “popular” group - the pretty girls. I know now that beauty should not be taken at face value as some of those girls were not particularly nice to know.

In the workplace wanting to be like someone might be as simple as wanting to work in their team and absorb some of their behaviours.  If you have shared values this is understandable - but beware of following blindly where you end up feeling really uncomfortable!

2 We want to follow their example in our own way

Maybe - if I am being judgemental - the more healthy answer to number 1.  Great things can result from building the best traits and behaviours of others we admire into how we work.  But never losing sight of who you really are and the differences that make the difference. Which brings me to…

3 We want to be them

Dolly the first cloned sheep was created about 4 miles from where I sit. Cloned employees might seem like an attractive option for employers - no I am joking! If you want to be someone - ie living their life instead of your own, I urge you to think again and start working on your own plan.

4 We are envious of them

In this case you don’t want to follow them or ( thankfully) be them but you resent something about them. Maybe it is that they have more experience than you/or a wider social network/ or a bigger house.. This can lead to terrible self destructive behaviour and is probably the worst of all worlds.

So there you go. My thoughts on a Monday. Personally I know where my desire to be working with young people comes from ( my mother’s influence ) and my creativity ( in crafts both Mum and Dad), my willingness to get up and speak in public  ( my old boss Gordon) , my love of networking ( too many to mention- which is the point really), my sense of fairness ( my husband along with many many others ) my openness to new ideas ( mainly the young people I work with) my ability to get over minor obstacles ( Kate who lives so far away from the hub of things but still gets things done) my  ability to stick with things ( my lovely friend Liz who waited many years til Mr Right came along- a true love match).

There is a sprinkling of snow lying on the ground and the sun is shining. This is officially the first day back to work for many people in the UK ( some poor souls had to go back yesterday - I know).  As a home based consultant I am not affected by this now but I do recall how hard it was to get back into the swing when I had an “office job”. So I hope this post might give a little inspiration with ideas for life in 2008!

1. Find a way to exercise that you enjoy!  This has taken me a long time to do this but I realise that I love to dance. So I will take a leaf from the Strictly Come Dancing ( Dancing with the Stars) participants and vary my repertoire in 2008.
2. Consider your own personal impact on the environment and make a small change. ( or a big one if you feel you can sustain it!)
3. Do that thing you have always wanted to do this year! I don’t want to be gloomy here but none of us should take time ( and/or good health) for granted.
4. Pick up the phone , e-mail or write a letter but get in touch with someone who was an important part of your life and with whom you have lost touch. I find that writing Christmas Cards reminds me of so many people with whom I was in regular touch but now I have no idea what they are doing. In 2007 I met up with 3 old neighbours who I had not seen in years. We originally met through our children when they were very young. It was great catching up and even if our continued contact is only an occasional e-mail it was well worth it.
5. Go complaint free for 21 days. This idea was started by Reverend Will Bowen and involves wearing a band on your wrist which you need to change to the other wrist each time you criticise, gossip or complain. The aim is to think about what you are saying and stop if you don’t need to be nasty. No special equipment required - a simple hair bobble or rubber band would do ( the type dropped by our UK posties are ideal! That’s not a complaint you understand - it’s an observation!!). Now as someone who sometimes posts my complaints and moans I will commit to making sure that when/if I do I will also try to see the other person’s point of view rather than making it a one sided thing.
6. Ask for feedback. I know that for most people this is tricky but we often are hindered by lack of understanding of our real talent and the best way to get a clearer insight is to ask other people to comment. So be brave. This is not just a work thing. Ask people who know you/work with you to comment on what you do well and what they think you might want to work on. But remember  - if you don’t agree with them, and are clear about why you don’t - follow your own instincts
7. Sign up for a First Aid course. I had a situation recently when intuition kicked in when I had to deal with a medical emergency but I want to be more prepared. A recent report said that only about 10% of us would know what to do if we were with someone who was having heart attack when taking the correct action promptly can save a life.
8. Share. Ideas, contacts, wealth, love…..whatever.