Jackie Cameron - Coaching and Communication

At the start of the speaking skills training workshop I ran  yesterday I asked the participants to score out of 10 how confident they feel about speaking in public at the start of the day. As is often the case most people will score themselves below 5. At the end of the day I ask them to decide where they would score themselves at that point - and most will move themselves up - at least a few points.

In context of one day of training and in a box ticking feedback format this provides limited information  - but it’s a start.

Speaking in public always scores highly in the top 10 things people dread doing.  At the start of a workshop I am prepared for participants feeling varying degrees of nerves and start by asking them to introduce themselves. When we have done that I point out that they have already “made a speech” - they spoke - the audience listened!

In the next sessions I  lead the feedback but as soon as possible I ask the other participants to contribute so that they all speak - and they are all invited to comment on what they noticed. Crucially this feedback starts with what they thought went well - giving specific examples (” you were great” is not helpful) and then some suggestions for what they might do differently the next time.  I use this feedback model for all of the training I deliver and it never fails to surprise me how few people have used it before - and how much they like it when they give it a try!

The basis for the speaking skills workshops is to  help participants establish  are already doing well and build on that throughout the session - and to choose what to focus on for improvements in other areas. 

In another context, when reading the reflective reports for the management students on the Edinburgh Napier University programme that I teach  I was delighted to see that some had adopted this feedback model when trying out their new learning on their teams and that they were encouraged by the results.

We have loads of sayings which advocate persistence for success eg “You learn from your mistakes” and “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince” and even “If at first you don’t succeed try and try again”. Add to those a bit of focused encouragement and watch that confidence grow!

I would love to hear your stories and/or comments. Please share.

We will all have experienced it.

You want something done but the person you are speaking to is not “the right person”. Now the good outcome then is when that person says …”but let me get them for you” and the bad is of course is when they leave you to find out just who that someone else is yourself.

But there is another side to the “it’s someone else’s job” issue and I was reminded of this when I read this post from The Harvard Business Review  about leading when you don’t have formal authority. I had a boss once who was  ( in my humble opinion) hypersensitive about “stepping on someone’s toes” which meant that members of  their team were held back from being involved in projects that could have really benefitted from our input. I found it hard to see that happen and not step in but I still wanted to remain loyal to my boss so I would have a conversation at the coffee machine to get some more information to work on. Thankfully a couple of colleagues saw that as a good stategy too and before long we were invited into meetings and to collaborate on projects at the express wishes of the person whose job it was. And in turn we co-opted members of other teams to work  with us.

Generating interest in what you are doing by talking it up in an engaging, exciting way can work for everyone who becomes involved which can result in great outcomes for the business and the individuals involved. An important thing to remember though when this happens is to give timely and meaningful feedback to be included in any performance appraisal. It’s easy for work which is not done in the normal day to day job and has not been included in specific objectives to be overlooked.

Dan Johnson commented on my recent post Why is it so hard to get feedback right with such a great idea I decided to repeat it here…

My wife and I have been working on this lately, for customer service problems we run into throughout our lives. We tend to write letters and have had good results so far. It is a hard thing to get out of to not “let things go” and address issues you may have with strangers. Especially since, by nature, we tend to be pretty subdued. We never ask for anything in the letters we just state how we would like to see things improve. I have found that practicing giving feedback has made me more receptive in receiving it.

Now I won’t bore you with the details - because there is more than one post in the history of this blog about the awful customer service I have had from a bank I  invested with. Suffice to say that when I went to the branch to close both accounts I had they delivered the usual quality.

What I like about Dan’s ( and his wife’s) actions is that it allows them to take control of the situation - to benefit others. As he says they are not asking for anything but offering advice on how to improve. And I am going to take a leaf out of their book and write to the bank - not a letter of complaint ( though goodness knows it would be justified) but a letter of suggestions about how to be better next time - albeit with a different customer.

Sometimes the topic for my blog posts just scream at me  and to day the theme of feedback has hit me a few times from different directions I realised that I had to add my tuppence worth.

1 It started with a  post over at The Career Encouragement   blog  about conflicting feedback. I won’t repeat any of it here - Peggy’s post is great and says it all ( in my opinion - more of which later). What I will say though is - bear in mind where the feedback is coming from. The person giving the feedback may be working from their own agenda

2 Then  Dave McQueen  on Twitter this morning said

“just looking at some feedback from training. why is it that we remember the one negative point so succintly?”

Do you do this? No matter how great overall the feedback has been - and how many of your skills/talents/strengths have been highlighted your mind plays over and over on the one negative?

3 Dave added later that he was reading written feedback after the event - and he would have liked to have asked for more information. As I get more into training that is one of my biggest frustrations - trying to capture what the written feedback really means. At my training sessions I ask for feedback from the audience before we finish - after all I have been training in speaking up all day. Thankfully - so far - on every occasion the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. And lest you think I just ask for superficial comments a core part of the training is giving and receiving verbal feedback - I ask for what was good, what could have been better and for suggestions for the next time. However, sometimes the feedback sheets show a low score on one aspect - and I no longer have the chance to find out why that was.

4 At my Speakers Club the format for giving feedback on speeches is that one person is nominated to give verbal feedback in front of the group ( and there is the chance for a one to one session over the break later) and the others in the group have a couple of minutes to write down their own. In my view the best givers of feedback are those who start with - “this is what I noticed”, or “in my view and others might take a different stand” because I believe that all feedback is biased. It has to be based on the experience, or knowledge, or context  of the feedback giver. It might even include how they feel on the night! As I pointed out in #1 - this it is my view that Peggy’s post is good. It is up to you to make your own minds up about whether you agree with me or not.

So why is it so hard to get feedback right?

- The intention of the feedback is important. Was it asked for or offered. That starts from 2 different places

- The context  matters. A superior giving feedback to a junior may influence their future decisions and it is important that thy recognise the impact of that. Peer feedback can be challenging. What expertise does the feedback giver have that qualifies them to give it?

- The  model of feedback needs to be clearly understood . The only time I was in a 360 degree feedback system it was entirely anonymous unless the feedback giver identified themselves. I realised that was to encourage openness but I found the inablity to discuss the feedback further was hugely frustrating.

- The feedback giver’s personal agenda makes a difference.  Are they really giving you feedback to help you improve?

Please share your own experiences -especially if you  - or someone you know - give great feedback.

Sometimes you just know at what point you discovered you need to take action to do something better! In terms of getting up in front of an audience to speak this point was at the US Employee Relocation Council Symposium in Los Angeles in October 1997.

At that time I managed the new  international mobility division of an established, successful relocation company here in Edinburgh. The opportunity had arisen for us to provide a speaker and my boss put me forward . I recall I was on holiday when he did this  and so by the time I had come back it was a done deal. I had to have some pictures taken for the promotional brochure and make some travel arrangements. This trip I was to travel with my colleague Kristin, a lovely lady and US citizen who had never been to the West Coast.

I was to be part of a panel talking about aspects of international relocations and I was to cover work permits.  The symposium at that time focused on mobility in the US and the international stuff was still a bit out of the ordinary. 

We arrived in LA - had a good night’s sleep, headed out to network …and then the jetlag hit me. I knew that if I took a nap I would sleep for hours so, as we had a free afternoon before the proper start of the event, we headed to Santa Monica beach. We left just enough time to get back and go to dinner. We were there for 3 whole days. On day 2 I had to give in  and go for a nap as I literally could not keep my eyes open after lunch.  I was raring to go late into the night which is the complete opposite to how I am at home though. I was due to speak after lunch on day 3  - just when I would be at my tiredest. Arrgh.

I had not met my fellow panelists before arriving in LA  but after a quick meeting we decided that we were good to go .

So the big moment arrived I had spoken to audiences before but never at an event of this scale. About 50 or so turned up for this one.  Much of what actually happened is a blur now but I know that each speaker had their own take on their remit and we were not joined up. The topic was really dry. The audience were restless. And it felt as flat as a pancake. I breathed a sigh of relief when I was done.

A couple of weeks later I received a tape of the session - and the audience feedback. I listened to the tape and cringed. My content was awful and it was clear to me - and it must have been to the audience - that I thought so.  I also sounded really tired ( which of course I was).

The feedback I got reflected this though I have to say that the style was not particularly helpful. The comments were more about how the respondent felt about the issue - work permits - and my accent.

One drilled into my brain went on the lines of “Cameron [note ; not Jackie] speaks with a thick accent - she needs to slow down and speak clearly for her audience”. That was  turning point for me. I had broken so many rules on effective public speaking.  No wonder my audience was unimpressed.

1. I could have found out more about my audience and tailored the content which  was new to many of them.
2. If I had rehearsed my speech I could have made changes . I had the opportunity to try it out on Kristin which would have highlighted changes I could make.
3. Speaking too fast is common for many people speaking in public - in this case it was even more important to slow down as my accent got in the way too
4. Speaking to the others on the panel before I travelled and then meeting them could have helped  with my discomfort on where my part fitted with theirs.
5. We all delivered our presentations sitting down - can’t remember why we did that!

I was delighted - and a bit surprised - to be invited to speak at the 2000 symposium in Washington DC and that went really well. I suspect that - apart from being far more professional about it - the fact that I had all but lost my voice got me a sympathy vote!