Not so silly questions
This post was inspired by the comments on the previous post.
Michelle mentioned that she asks “the silly question” because she is nosey. Those of us who know Michelle also know that her questions are anything but “silly” but to help her satisfy her curiosity.
And Julie’s comment highlights the chance to use questions to provoke creativity – as she says ” to get a new response on an old viewpoint”.
Some people ask questions to “play devil’s advocate” where there is a dispute ( or to create one…!). Others ask questions only when they know what the answer is ( parents are often good at this when they want their children to fess up to something).
I wonder then whether the purpose of the question is more important than the question itself?
So next time you think that your question is too silly to ask – think about why you need to ask it in the first place. And if you think a question someone has asked is silly - why not stop and put yourself in their shoes to see where it is coming from.
Certainly the purpose of the question is important! I don’t know how often I have answered the wrong question – especially with juniors. Great chaos as they put my answer to work on their actual question.
David Cooperrider of Appreciative Inquiry says we move in the direction of the question we asked – because that’s what concerned us.
But when we apologize, we are just forewarning people that we might be coming from a place that surprises them. We are talking about group relations not questions! And as you say, reflecting on those might me more important than reflecting on the task.
Thank you Jo. “We move in the direction of the question we asked …” I like that. Hmmmm….thinking….
I’m looking forward to learning about Appreciative Enquiry… I LOVE the notion that you can enquire in a way that is positive & want to know more….I hope what’s below links in with it…
Some of my thoughts on questioning has come from recent work with David Kantor’s 4 player model (which I have a kind of neat version of on word, but not to hand…Jackie – please harass me if I don’t send you it?.. I’ve just googled it and there’s lot of tat before you can find what’s useful.)
The premise is based in family therapy, but works superbly in group/ team contexts. It suggests you are likely to take 1 of 2 standpoints in a conversation – an Advocating or an Enquiring stance. Others in or around the conversation may align with you (Follow) or challenge (move). Any of these standpoints can be skillful & lead to an outcome which works for the team as a whole, or clumsy (my word) and lead to outcomes for an individual or a group of individuals.
Skillful enquiry to me is the “daft lassie” question – one which comes from a place of innocence & genuine curiosity, rather from a place of knowledge or judgement.
To ask simple questions can be arresting, powerful and lead to interesting places… HOW much fun is that?
J
that sounds so interesting…looking forward to learning more!