How to help your children find a job

Alison Green – who has an excellent blog under the title “Ask A Manager” tweeted yesterday that  she had just told a parent that she “did not answer questions on job search advice  on behalf of their kid” .  The tweets that followed were on the same lines  – that this reflected badly on the young person in question. But…I wonder about the background to this. Maybe the “kid” did ask the parent to make the call but if they didn’t  – when(if) they found out  how do you think they felt?

As parents we want the best for our children. Sometimes our desire to protect them from hurt or harm leads us to want to “sort” problems for them. Finding a job for most young people these days is very difficult so maybe parents are stepping in to help  a bit further than they should.

Several parents have hired me to  coach their sons and daughters during their job search. Sometimes the parent contacts me to ask me what I can do and I stress that when I am working with clients – of any age – it is between me and them. If they want to share what happens in the coaching session that is up to them but I will not discuss it with a third party. One Mum did say that she wanted me to make her son “see sense” in his career choice and I explained that that I would not do that but I would ask questions that would hopefully give him clarity on where he was heading – and crucially  – why.

Some of my young clients have still been students when I met them, others had graduated and not been able to secure a job that would lead to a career in their chosen field, others had not been able to find any job at all. What they needed at that stage was some help to find out what they wanted to do. Most parents can do this  if they follow some guidelines.

Before you start

• forget about where you started out and your career path – times have changed and so has the way we work.
• you may have been motivated by and successful in highly paid jobs but your son or daughter may really want to work in a job where financial rewards are low but job satisfaction is high.. accept that you are different

Then

• ask questions to find out what your son/daughter thinks  are their key skills, talents and expertise . Then ask them what they have to back up those beliefs – feedback, recommendations, references etc.  Remember you will be perceived as being biased  – so ensure that positive feedback you give can be backed up by examples
• flowing directly on from that if you see areas where development might be helpful – suggest it and explain why – but back off if it is not well received.
• suggest that they tidy up their online presence by setting up a more business based profile on Linkedin that potential recruiters can both search and check out and keeping Facebook low key during the job search ( it shouldn’t matter – but it does!)
• offer to review and proof job applications and CVs – with an open mind!
• when they get an interview run through what they might expect.  You might need to help buy the right outfit of course. And stress the importance of first impressions – so daft though it might seem practice handshakes and eye contact.
• do some research on jobs if it makes you feel better but don’t be surprised if what you are looking for and what your son/daughter is looking for is different.
• do open up your network to them and facilitate introductions if you can( not really to ask for a job – but to ask for ideas and help) – the more people they have in their own network the wider their reputation can reach
• if they seem stuck or not bothered - step back from criticism and angry exchanges and consider whether they are actually depressed .

If you would like to chat about this please get in touch with me by e-mail –  jackie@consultcameron.com

And if you are reading this and have other hints or tips – please share!