I was really confused by the new Orange advert. Then I got it. The message seems - to me anyway - to be that everyone we meet in our lives has an impact on who we are now.

Of course this will be true to a greater or lesser extent depending on who it is. For most of us our parents will be amongst the highest influencers but kids at school are influenced by their peers and even oldies like my Dad are being influenced by his new found pals at his art class.

As most of us spend a significant part of our days in the world of work the influence of co-workers is likely to have a significant impact on who we are and how we behave. A warning though - it may not all be positive.

Let’s think about how co-workers influence who we are

1 We want to be like them

Did you have someone at school whose style was so cool that you copied it? It might just have been the way they dressed. It might have been the kind of people they would hang about with. It might have been their behaviour like - ahem - smoking!? As I look back I so wanted to be one of the “popular” group - the pretty girls. I know now that beauty should not be taken at face value as some of those girls were not particularly nice to know.

In the workplace wanting to be like someone might be as simple as wanting to work in their team and absorb some of their behaviours.  If you have shared values this is understandable - but beware of following blindly where you end up feeling really uncomfortable!

2 We want to follow their example in our own way

Maybe - if I am being judgemental - the more healthy answer to number 1.  Great things can result from building the best traits and behaviours of others we admire into how we work.  But never losing sight of who you really are and the differences that make the difference. Which brings me to…

3 We want to be them

Dolly the first cloned sheep was created about 4 miles from where I sit. Cloned employees might seem like an attractive option for employers - no I am joking! If you want to be someone - ie living their life instead of your own, I urge you to think again and start working on your own plan.

4 We are envious of them

In this case you don’t want to follow them or ( thankfully) be them but you resent something about them. Maybe it is that they have more experience than you/or a wider social network/ or a bigger house.. This can lead to terrible self destructive behaviour and is probably the worst of all worlds.

So there you go. My thoughts on a Monday. Personally I know where my desire to be working with young people comes from ( my mother’s influence ) and my creativity ( in crafts both Mum and Dad), my willingness to get up and speak in public  ( my old boss Gordon) , my love of networking ( too many to mention- which is the point really), my sense of fairness ( my husband along with many many others ) my openness to new ideas ( mainly the young people I work with) my ability to get over minor obstacles ( Kate who lives so far away from the hub of things but still gets things done) my  ability to stick with things ( my lovely friend Liz who waited many years til Mr Right came along- a true love match).