Jul
14
What impact have your co-workers in the past had on who you are now?
Filed Under Leadership, Personal awareness, Goals
I was really confused by the new Orange advert. Then I got it. The message seems - to me anyway - to be that everyone we meet in our lives has an impact on who we are now.
Of course this will be true to a greater or lesser extent depending on who it is. For most of us our parents will be amongst the highest influencers but kids at school are influenced by their peers and even oldies like my Dad are being influenced by his new found pals at his art class.
As most of us spend a significant part of our days in the world of work the influence of co-workers is likely to have a significant impact on who we are and how we behave. A warning though - it may not all be positive.
Let’s think about how co-workers influence who we are
1 We want to be like them
Did you have someone at school whose style was so cool that you copied it? It might just have been the way they dressed. It might have been the kind of people they would hang about with. It might have been their behaviour like - ahem - smoking!? As I look back I so wanted to be one of the “popular” group - the pretty girls. I know now that beauty should not be taken at face value as some of those girls were not particularly nice to know.
In the workplace wanting to be like someone might be as simple as wanting to work in their team and absorb some of their behaviours. If you have shared values this is understandable - but beware of following blindly where you end up feeling really uncomfortable!
2 We want to follow their example in our own way
Maybe - if I am being judgemental - the more healthy answer to number 1. Great things can result from building the best traits and behaviours of others we admire into how we work. But never losing sight of who you really are and the differences that make the difference. Which brings me to…
3 We want to be them
Dolly the first cloned sheep was created about 4 miles from where I sit. Cloned employees might seem like an attractive option for employers - no I am joking! If you want to be someone - ie living their life instead of your own, I urge you to think again and start working on your own plan.
4 We are envious of them
In this case you don’t want to follow them or ( thankfully) be them but you resent something about them. Maybe it is that they have more experience than you/or a wider social network/ or a bigger house.. This can lead to terrible self destructive behaviour and is probably the worst of all worlds.
So there you go. My thoughts on a Monday. Personally I know where my desire to be working with young people comes from ( my mother’s influence ) and my creativity ( in crafts both Mum and Dad), my willingness to get up and speak in public ( my old boss Gordon) , my love of networking ( too many to mention- which is the point really), my sense of fairness ( my husband along with many many others ) my openness to new ideas ( mainly the young people I work with) my ability to get over minor obstacles ( Kate who lives so far away from the hub of things but still gets things done) my ability to stick with things ( my lovely friend Liz who waited many years til Mr Right came along- a true love match).
What you say is so true, Jackie. Yet another reason to laugh in the face of the one who claims to be “self-made”. We’re all the products of our past relationships. Lucky is the one who realizes that, and appreciates others’ contributions to who we are today… and tomorrow!
I just got off the phone from one of my former bosses (who found me on Plaxo) and we are planning to meet up. He was by far my favourite boss and encouraged my entrepreneurial spirit even though he knew it could mean me leaving my job in the future. In the end he left the company before me but his imprint was a real encouragement for me.
That phone call and this post are timely reminders of the impact you can leave on people in the world of work.
Bob - the self made man ( or woman) who credits others in his/her success is truly a leader!
Dave - I love stories like this. When people from our past come back into our lives. Sounds like there might be some creativity and sparks potential with you both. Keep us informed!