Feb
29
Are you frightened of your boss - or is it that they are frightened of you?
Filed Under Leadership, Personal awareness
Do you know the saying “the best form of defence is attack”?
Recently I heard someone describe the reaction of their boss as an attack “because they are threatened by what I am capable of”. I thought that was an interesting use of words but when I was thinking about it maybe much of the “bad” behaviour of bosses is a form of protection.
This does not excuse bad behaviour of course. But maybe by understanding your reaction to that behaviour you can change both?
Regular readers will know that I am currently in the middle of a programme on Emotional Intelligence and Leadership at Napier University in Edinburgh. Mike Fiszer the course leader reminded us of the quote from Marianne Williamson ( also included in a speech by Nelson Mandela)
“Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you”
In a TV show last night the old cliche of a difficult ( male ) boss greeting a new ( female) member of a very senior team by barking orders was met with a request that he never speak to her that way again as she had worked very hard to get where she was and she deserved to be there. I know it was fiction - it was there for entertainment - it was a cop show - all of that. But it did not stop me from saying “quite right” out loud!
So if your boss is behaving in a way that you are unhappy with could it be that they are actually defending themselves - and - and here’s the hard part - what might you do to change that?
