Jan
18
One of the most important things that I learned when I was starting out as a coach that people like to talk things through - to work out their own solutions to issues - to formulate plans etc. This process will show up gaps and then - and when they are clear about what they want to do - they can ask for appropriate help if they need it.
On the other side of that is to remind us that if someone is talking an issue through ( not just in a coaching session - this applies to friends,colleagues, family) - give them some space to do that.
Don’t jump in with a solution ( your solution) - unless you are invited to do so.
I am about to finish my contract at Forthview Primary School. Have I told you what a great place it is to work ( yes I have - again and again). I will miss it so much but I know I will go back from time to time. It’s been a while since I have been in a “job”. I took this particular opportunity to get some experience of working in a school environment as so much of my consulting work had been coming from working with teachers and young people and I felt it would be much better if understood what being in and working in school was like.
As I expected I have learned loads.
One of my key learnings was actually a reminder.
When an issue arises - don’t jump straight into action - think first!
and - let me be quite clear here.
This is not to encourage procrastination.
In one particularly tricky situation I thought for a bit and realised that I did not know the structure of the systems well enough to take the next step without help. So I sought out a colleague who would listen to me ( and had time to - it’s a school remember - time is scarce) to let me work out where I was. When I understood what I was trying to do I could ask the correct questions to point me in the right direction. Ten minutes later I was taking - the correct - action. If I had fired ahead I could so easily have gone up a few blind alleys before I got there. It would have taken up so many other people’s time too.
In a different situation but following the same train of thought I recalled a situation in a previous job which spiralled out of control because someone did not pause to think. A colleague - let’s call them A - had a bit of a grumble about a situation - and sent an e-mail to say so to B. B replied - quickly ( they happened to be at their desk when it came in ) and pressed the button. A did not like the reply so spent ages compiling their response now cc’ing others of us from C-Z ( or so it seemed) in…..and before you know it it had become a full scale battle. B’s first response should probably have been to leave it til they came back and then suggested having a coffee together as I suspect that A
- had been working through something to let off steam
- did not ask for or expect advice
So whether you have a situation that you think needs you to act - consider taking to time just to think ( or talk if you have the opportunity) about how you will do that.
Then ACT!
Jackie - You bring up an excellent example of email escalation wars…and the adage “take a deep breath”. Sometimes situations require immediate action (they usually involve impending personal injury
) but for the most part thinking first is the best choice.
To be a good listener in these situations - aahhh, what a worthy goal!
Of course stopping to think if someone is in mortal danger is probably not the best course of action - good point!
Being a good listener is a constant challenge. Though it somewhat defines what I do - coaches should not be coaches if they cannot listen - I still have to work hard at doing it well.
Thankfully my life is full of people who are good listeners!